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It’s bye week. That means 6 weeks of football have been played, and things have happened. Lots of them. Here are a few examples:
Aaron Rodgers
He is a shining beacon of light in a dark world. He is to quarterbacking what all day breakfast is to people who still go to McDonald’s. His passes are nothing short of a Bob Ross masterpiece, and whenever I see him I forget to breathe. I’m going to merge two of my favorite pastimes here and say that Aaron Rodgers is a combination of Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and Bret Hart. He is Ric Shawhart.
I am not exaggerating when I say that he is a national treasure, and we must take every measure to ensure his everlasting life.
Legs
Why do Packers players’ legs hate them? There is clearly a coup amongst the lower appendages of the team. It must be stopped. Eat more gelatin, Packers players!
We Have the Best Worst Defense
It’s obvious. The defense is just terribly awesome. Always giving up yards, and occasionally points. Did you know there are 6 other defenses ranked ahead of them? 6! If you aren’t first, you’re last. We all know that. Only 8 interceptions and 7 forced fumbles in 6 games. They are giving up 16.8 points per game. That’s 4.2 a quarter.
FIRE CAPERS! Then REHIRE CAPERS!
Special Teams Are Special, a Team
Ron Zook. That’s a funny name. But it’s also the name of a pretty good special teams coach. It looks like the group has bought into his philosophy Zook, line, and sinker.
I’ll pause to let you regain your composure…….
Mike McCarthy
He had a beard, now he doesn’t. He’s not calling plays on offense anymore, except for when he is. His injury reports are vague, but that’s okay. I enjoy watching his show on Wednesday nights.
Clay Mathews Hair (Ad)
Still magnificent. He’s like a lion, except his team wins.
GO PACK GO!
Continue reading...
Aaron Rodgers
He is a shining beacon of light in a dark world. He is to quarterbacking what all day breakfast is to people who still go to McDonald’s. His passes are nothing short of a Bob Ross masterpiece, and whenever I see him I forget to breathe. I’m going to merge two of my favorite pastimes here and say that Aaron Rodgers is a combination of Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and Bret Hart. He is Ric Shawhart.
I am not exaggerating when I say that he is a national treasure, and we must take every measure to ensure his everlasting life.
Legs
Why do Packers players’ legs hate them? There is clearly a coup amongst the lower appendages of the team. It must be stopped. Eat more gelatin, Packers players!
We Have the Best Worst Defense
It’s obvious. The defense is just terribly awesome. Always giving up yards, and occasionally points. Did you know there are 6 other defenses ranked ahead of them? 6! If you aren’t first, you’re last. We all know that. Only 8 interceptions and 7 forced fumbles in 6 games. They are giving up 16.8 points per game. That’s 4.2 a quarter.
FIRE CAPERS! Then REHIRE CAPERS!
Special Teams Are Special, a Team
Ron Zook. That’s a funny name. But it’s also the name of a pretty good special teams coach. It looks like the group has bought into his philosophy Zook, line, and sinker.
I’ll pause to let you regain your composure…….
Mike McCarthy
He had a beard, now he doesn’t. He’s not calling plays on offense anymore, except for when he is. His injury reports are vague, but that’s okay. I enjoy watching his show on Wednesday nights.
Clay Mathews Hair (Ad)
Still magnificent. He’s like a lion, except his team wins.
GO PACK GO!
Continue reading...