To Recap Week 10: So… That Happened

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To Recap Week 10: So… That Happened, by James Korsmo

I’m not sure the funny is going to flow as fluidly as it has in previous weeks. This game stings badly, and I am sick at the ugly display of football the Packers have barfed up for the past three weeks. But, as they say, the show must go on…​



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Aaron Rodgers

I don’t know what is going on in that handsome head of his, but there is obviously a problem. Rodgers clearly is not himself, and hasn’t been for several weeks. His inaccuracy is both puzzling and deeply troubling, considering that he will most likely end up as the most accurate passer in the history of the game. For the past few weeks, protection was the biggest problem, and Rodgers has had somewhat of a free pass with fans due to constantly fearing for his life. Today, that was simply not the case. There were several plays where Rodgers could have made Minute Rice in the pocket, if there were a microwave and a pouch to put in there.

The other bailout for Rodgers has been the receivers’ lack of separation. Today he had receivers open all day. He missed Randall Cobb twice when he was open. A few of his check down passes bounced to his fullbacks–who were only about 7 yards downfield. It’s unfathomable that he’s missing so badly. Cobb and Davante Adams did not help things by dropping every other ball Rodgers threw at them, but if Rodgers makes the throws that we are accustomed to seeing, chances are that this conversation I’m having with myself right now wouldn’t be happening. I need beer. So much beer.

It is clear that there is something wrong with Rodgers. He is in need of a cranial enema. Is there a medical term for that? I don’t know, but I’m going to make one up right now…..Cranioscopy. He needs a cranioscopy.



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Wide Receivers

Guys, we need to have a chat. Yes, you too Janis. Look, you guys have the potential to be the best group of receivers in the league. But potential is like a goldfish. If you don’t appreciate it and nurture it, potential dies. Your potential is floating belly up right now. The gills are still taking in oxygen, but there is something wrong. Are you being overfed? Lacy, that was not a dig at you, please go back to the cafeteria. Does your tank need to be cleaned? What do you need in order to realize your potential?

You have Aaron Rodgers throwing you the ball, and you’re going up against cover 2 zones most of the time. I know your coaches are not doing you any favors. The play calling has been pretty bad. But you have to make the most out of the hand you’re dealt. Today, you were dealt hands made of overripe avocados. I don’t know what you need to do to play up to your potential. But I do know that it has to happen soon.

Rodgers is getting a cranioscopy for you guys. The least you can do is catch the ball with human hands, and not nutritious buttery burrito condiments. No, Lacy, there is no guacamole here. You move fast for a guy with a pulled groin. Anyway, the receiving corps needs to be the spark of this offense. Nurture your goldfish, guys. Someday you might wake up and find you are actually a beautiful koi.

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